Post by THE WETNESS on Sept 17, 2008 22:13:12 GMT -5
Well well, as a celebration of my return, I will review:
START CONTROL 2 THE URQUAN MASTERS
Well, the version of this game I'm reviewing is on the sado, a system that instead of starting with greatness and fading into mediocrity, styarted with mediocrity and faded into nothing. The system's supposed "hyper-realistic" graphics were not all they were cracked up to be, not to mention the system tops PS3 as the most expensive video game console ever. (700-800 bucks) It was made by Panasonic. The system became infamous for not only it's price but it's terrible live-action cutscenes, which, combined with it's lacking library of titles, helped it die a quick, painful death.
Wow, a whole paragraph, and I haven't even mentioned the game yet. So, Star Control 2. The game starts you off cracking up with it's ridiculous narrator saying the title. (for some reason, this always makes me laugh, the narrator saying the title of the game, it always sounds so ridiculous, even in RE4.) Then, to the menu.
You get the standard options for either a single-player campaign, or a 2 player deathmatch, which is far and away the most interesting and fun mode. Plus, there's the menu for options, and a place to put in cheats.
First, the campaign. Painful. Simply painful. Not only are the graphics in this game horribly clayish in the cutscenes, and terribly pixellated in the gameplay, but the story is so convoluted and confusing it'll leave you wishing you had just watched Battlestar Gallactica or something instead. You play as the ship called "Human", and go around the galaxy aimlessly for some reason or other, running into alien ships frequently. The game's pathetic attempt at holding your interest involves the possibility of being able to skip battles by correctly playing the conversation mini-game. An okay idea in theory, but these aliens must be pretty testy, since everything I said was taken as a challenge or an insult to their race's honor or something.
(sorry, not many screencaps of this game, really obscure...)
Anyway, chances are you'll end up having to fight the ship. That's what it looks like in the above screenshot. You get a 2-d battle on uninteresting backrounds between ships with 2 attacks each.
The battles are entertaining at first, but it loses it fast...like cheetah attacking helpless fat man fast...
Then there's the 2 player, the shining diamond in the sea of sh*t so to speak. You both get to pick 8 out of any of ships in the story, (and there are lots), and duke it out in space. the problwm here is balance, as the big green ship, the big black ship, and the white ship the the forcefield pretty much kick everyone else's arse. And with each ship only having a couple moves, the matches pretty much come down to getting within range and button mashing your a$$ off. Sure, one ship has the ability to turn invisible for short periods of time, and one has a self destruct, but they're all still basically the same. Once you figure out which ship is the best. (black one), you'll always pick 8 copies of that one.....and that's it...game over...
a sad game for a sad system, there was potential for customization and a truly fun experience, but it was wasted. Boring as shit. stinks like it too.
Next review: PO'ed for 3DO
