Again

[Johans Nidorino]

Hell, this is the second time it happens in my life.

I got in love with a girl for the n-th time. But it was only the second one in which I told a girl my feelings.

She happened to be a good friend of mine, which is the difference between her and the past girl.

I was convinced we were made for each other... She was not, though. She wasn't made for anybody, from what she said... She had never had a boyfriend (and I haven't had a girlfriend before). But tonight she got enough courage to tell me that she is now girlfriend to a boy that was also in love with her two and a half years ago, when the three of us studied together (she and I studied together without him during the last two years, and she had rejected him because he told her his feelings too early at that time, which I used to get closer to her).

And no, she was not a hottie, nor a girl everybody desired. She was somewhat tomboyish. (well, if 0 was tomboy and 10 was feminine, then she was 5). A very cool girl who likes video games, computers, and cool stuff (no parties or perverted ***). Pretty face, with a pretty voice, and pretty skin. A sweetheart, nice enough to have made me forget the previous girl, lol (the events with the previous girl happened between 1998 and 2003, and the events with this girl were between 2004 and 2007).

That's it overall. Of course the story is so full of details, I'd spend hours telling the whole tale, which I won't.

Oh, well, it's sad, very sad, and I somewhat haven't cried or felt depressed yet (just shocked for now, because she told me so 1 hour ago).

:'(

[D.A.N.]

Aw, that's a shame. Sometimes chicks take no thought into how a guy feels. Like c'mon, we're not all Chuck Norris.

Hope you feel better. Just keep your head up, you'll find a girl. There's one out there for everyone, it's just hard to find.

[Johans Nidorino]

Thanks, D.A.N. I'll try to get over it by doing some different things. I'm going to enrol into a Taekwondo school one of these days (I was in it like 8 years ago, but felt lazy and left it); I also need it because I'm getting chubby as hell. Probably also dance classes, because in this country, not knowing to dance in parties makes you boring . I already deleted her from my Messenger contacts; not block her, just delete her so that I make myself unable to see her daily activity.

I had a very, very bad night. I woke up about 4:30 (my normal wake up time is 8:00) and wandered by the dining room eating something because my stomach was feeling like crap. It's inconceivable to picture her in love; really, really inconceivable, and the more I think about it, the bigger the sorrow is. She even used to use the pronoun "Usted" when talking to him instead of "Tú" ("Usted": Spanish formal form of "You", "Tú": informal form of "You"), possibly meaning they were... less "friends" than she and I are... She didn't even have him on MSN (nor his phone number) by last August, when she wanted somebody to get her some PC parts. It's funny (in a sad sense of "funny") how this so similar to that time when she came to my house to my graduation celebration instead of going to the ones of other friends, just because I invited her first. But maybe she just liked him more, because she also rejected my feelings several times. I put a lot of energy into my relationship with her, by being kind to her, bringing her a few GBA games , sending her flowers, balloons, even a banner... I shouldn't care at this point, but one at least feels pleased that she has stuff of one's that she'll never forget .

Going to work now... I hope my loneliness allows me to be a more helpful person on the other hand. See you later!

[Nuggets Card]

Meh, life goes on. That's my take on anything really... It didn't work out, whatever. Just keep going. (Btw, posting about lost love on a VG forum is kinda lame. Just a heads-up... <_<)